Spontaneous Second Thought

I feel awkward when people talk about my father with me. If I need to talk about it I will bring it up, but I absolutely hate other people bringing it up to me. Don't ask me how my dad is doing, don't ask me when the last time we talked was. Don't make a joke about how I don't like him, even if you think it would make me feel better. I never want to talk about it in public places and rarely want to talk about it to anyone anywhere. I don't really understand how people could feel comfortable asking me things like that anyway. Unless you were part of the life I had with my dad- I really don't see how you could ever understand what it means to me. My friends from my life before I knew all these new people understand exactly what happened and don't randomly ask about it for those reasons. It gives me a sharp pinch anytime its mentioned. For the sake of not making everyone uncomfortable I quickly respond and change the subject even quicker. I don't know why I got so passionate about this all of a sudden, but it happened last night and you will never know how unsettled it made me. Don't talk about my dad.
I miss my sister, I miss my mom, I miss Vincent and I don't know Felicity. I don't want to be reminded that I'll never miss my dad. This excerpt in from a book for teenagers, but that's okay because when I think of my dad, I am always an angst-y 16.


You Don't Know Me by David Klass

This storm could settle me down anywhere.
You don't know where I'll end up.
The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present but you have no control over my future.
You don't know me at all.